Skyline

I know this blog is supposed to be about books, films and anything else that I like, but every now and again there’s going to be a book or film I watch that is so bad, it simply has to be reviewed. Skyline is one of those films.

I watched it a couple of weeks ago, after buying it in my local Blockbuster (now closed down-end of an era, they’re outta here) in a moment of madness. I think it was the holographic cover that got me, like a moth to a flame. But I just found it in the cupboard, underneath Monsters. (amazing-review to follow) and it reminded me how God awful it is.

Skyline concerns a few ‘characters’- loosely sketched to the point of hardly being there at all- as they fight against an alien invasion in Los Angeles. They fight, there are internal politics (adultery, pregnancy) but these are all forgotten when humans start getting sucked up in to big blue spaceships.

Humans are food for these weird alien things that have come to feed on our brains. Yummy. But why? You may ask. No idea. It isn’t dwelled upon. Nor is the rest of the cast, who simply serve as brain fodder for the CGI monsters, which, admittedly, given they created this film outside of any Hollywood studio, are pretty impressive. But it’s ironic that brains are the reason behind this invasion, and yet no-one thought to use one when writing the script.

Nothing makes sense. I know, I know, it’s a silly alien invasion film, it doesn’t have to. But come on: why are the aliens suddenly here? Why didn’t everyone die when the nuclear bomb dropped on the next door building? Why do these characters literally do nothing at all to try and get away? Where’s the remote? For the first 20 minutes, it’s like an episode of 90210, then it descends in to an upchuck of CGI.

The Brothers Strause are also responsible for Alien vs Predator Requiem– a travesty so colossal, it’s no wonder they had to go outside the system to make this one.

After 90 minutes, your eyes are glazed, your legs are twitching with impatience and you wish you’d carried on watching Antiques Roadshow.

As for the ending, they must have run out of money. It is the only explanation. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a montage of CGI stills that describes what is essentially the most important part of the story- and for the credits to roll while this is happening. The climax is an afterthought,  turning the film in to a screensaver. So very, very weird. But not in a good way.

Here’s the trailer. It has the only good bits:

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One thought on “Skyline

  1. Pingback: Monsters | bennysbooksetc

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